Are you feeling demotivated, negative or like there is no way to have a successful, fulfilling and joyful life?
You might have acquired ideas about life that are not quite helping you to thrive or grow as you would like to. This is a list of messages we hear every day that not only are not true, but can be very harmful and limiting if we acquire them as part of our beliefs system.
1. Taking care of yourself is selfish.
We all want to be a ‘good person’, and we tend to think that a good person is someone who is always making sacrifices and available to help other people.
Being generous and taking care of the ones you love is a wonderful thing. Prioritising everyone else’s needs over yours is something very different and actually very unhealthy!
Wonder why you are always exhausted, drained and it seems impossible to achieve any of your goals? Think about how much time you invest on yourself and how much time you spend pleasing others.
It is OK to take care of your needs. It is OK to say no to a commitment you don’t feel like attending. It is OK to prioritise your health. That’s not being selfish. If prioritising yourself is something you struggle with, check out this article with 5 easy steps to start taking care of yourself.
2. Life/Work is hard.
Many parents say this to their children trying to ‘prepare’ them for the tough world we live in. The intention is good, but when we acquire this message as part of our beliefs system it can be very limiting. We are kind of programming ourselves to have a tough life, or have to be making constant efforts to survive.
We might get stuck in toxic relationships, jobs we dislike or unhealthy habits because we think that is how life is supposed to be – hard.
Of course there will be tough situations in life, and resilience is very important to manage the difficult moments. However, the way we react and the situations we put ourselves in is entirely up to us. If we decide to believe that life or work is hard by nature, we will find it extremely difficult to find joy and inner peace.
3. Everything you see on TV is true.
Mainstream media talks so much about violence, anger and hate, causing fear and distracting people from their personal growth. All commercials are about looking good, skinny, pretty, forever young. It promotes gossiping, envy, and sells a model of success based on money and unattainable (and unhealthy) beauty.
How much time do you spend watching TV? How does it help you improve your well-being or mindset? Does it give you joy or make you feel happy? Is it helping you achieve your goals?
Read instead. Socialise with people you want to learn from. Get other sources of information and don’t believe blindly what you hear.
I gave my TV a few years ago and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done! I used to waste so much time in front of TV shows that add nothing to my life. Try not turning on the TV for a week and see what happens.
4. Your success will depend on luck/your starting point.
We all start with different circumstances, that’s a fact. But our decisions and actions are entirely up to us.
How many people born in rich families waste their fortune on alcohol and drugs? How many people born in poverty work hard and end up being successful and wealthy entrepreneurs?
Some people might be ‘lucky’ and have a more ‘advantageous’ starting point. But that’s not a guarantee for success nor is it the only way of having a fulfilling and joyful life.
People who say success is about luck just don’t want to take responsibility for their actions.
Don’t fall into the victim state. It is one of the worst enemies of success!
5. Getting a well-paid job will guarantee your happiness.
Financial stability makes things easy in many situations in life, that is undeniable. But a high-paying job is not a happiness guarantee. I’ve worked with so many people who are making good money and yet feel frustrated, empty, stressed and even exhausted.
Successful people not only make money. They also have a passion, they love what they do, they see a purpose in their careers. They have moments of leisure and joy. They take care of their health and emotional well-being.
Work is a very important part of our lives to which we dedicate most of our time. If we do it only for the money, we will be in ‘survival’ mode, but won’t thrive or feel happy or fulfilled. Many people realise that after years of work and they decide to change careers. If this is something you’ve been thinking about, you might also like this article on steps to start a career change.
6. You were born this way and there’s nothing you can do to change
Probably the worst lie of all! We are always changing, learning and evolving. That is what life is about!
So if you realised some of the lies above are part of your beliefs system, don’t worry, our beliefs can be reviewed, reassessed and changed if needed. I work on this with my clients all the time, mindset is everything if you want to be successful!
There are tons of articles, books about personal development (see this article for a list of my favourites) or why not work with a coach if you want to make the process more efficient.
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