How can you avoid having bad days or low moments?
This is a questions I’m asked very often when I give my talks about mindset.
And the answer is: you can’t and you shouldn’t!
That’s not what having the right mindset is.
Life doesn’t always go as we expect. There will always be difficult or unpleasant situations to face.
It’s normal to feel sad or angry or scared sometimes.
That’s part of life, and we can’t change that.
But something that is definitely under our control is how we deal with those situations.
I never talk about positive or negative emotions because I don’t think there are ‘negative’ emotions.
They can be pleasant or unpleasant. But they are all valid and should be embraced and respected.
The key here is to become AWARE of what’s going on inside you and not let your emotions control your behaviour or limit yourself.
It is OK to have a bad day.
The tools I teach are to ‘manage’ the bad days, not to avoid them.
Trying to be happy 24/7 is unrealistic and can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment or failure.
So give yourself permission to not be OK sometimes.
Acknowledging and respecting these low moments can give you a lot of useful information about how you feel, what’s going on inside yourself and what you need to change.
If we avoid connecting with these moments, we are losing connection with a vital part of ourselves.
So here are 4 tips to deal with the low moments:
1.Give yourself permission to not be OK.
Don’t beat yourself up for having a bad day, it’s human nature.
Give yourself permission to stop and take care of yourself.
If you have a low moment and you can’t stop because you are at work, promise yourself you will give yourself attention as soon as you can. It will sooth your inner child.
When we don’t feel well (emotionally or physically), it is a signal from our body telling us that something needs to change.
Pay attention to these low moments and use them as a tool to know yourself better and learn about what needs to improve or change in your life.
2.Listen to yourself and embrace how you feel.
Don’t block any emotions, even if they’re not pleasant. Allow yourself to be in the moment and connect with whatever you’re feeling.
If you ignore or repress the ‘unpleasant’ feelings, they will stay in the body and, in the long term, it can cause frustration, lower your energy or even physical symptoms.
Here is an article on how to express your emotions in a healthy way.
3.Do some journaling to let it all out and get clarity about what you need.
Start writing automatically (without thinking about the grammar, the content or if it makes logical sense) to let out all your thoughts and emotions. Just keep writing until you feel you have nothing else to say.
Ask yourself the following questions: What do I need? Is there anything that needs to change? Has this happened before? What triggers these low moments? What do I need to let go of?
4.Only when you’re ready, move on to some activity that will lift up your mood.
Listen to music, meditate, do some exercise, get fresh air or (my favourite!) write a list of all the skills, resources and positive traits you have. I call this exercise the power list, you can follow the detailed instructions in this article.
Answer this question: What does your inner child need to hear from the amazing, powerful and smart grown-up you are?
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