5 Ways You Leak Your Power without Realising It and What to Do Instead

When you are not in your power, everything goes wrong. You are at the mercy of life, what other people do and think, external circumstances, etc. When you are not in your power you are not in control, which means that we are basically just dealing with whatever life might want to throw at you – this is not a great position to be in!

But when you are in your power, when you know that you have all the resources you need, when you believe in yourself, when you love yourself, it doesn’t matter what other people think about you, it doesn’t matter what’s going on around because you know that you have the power to change and the resources to deal with anything that might come your way.

In this episode I want to share with you 5 ways in which you might be leaking your power without realising it and what to do instead.

Enjoy!

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

(Please note this is not an exact transcript of the episode, it is more like a script, there are more detailed explanations and insights in the actual podcast!)

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of The Positive Mindset Tribe!

Today I have a very empowering episode for you: ‘5 ways you leak your power without realising it and what to do instead’.

First of all apologies as there was no episode last week and if you have tried to book a free confidence booster session you might have seen that the calendar was blocked out and the reason is because I have been feeling very unwell, I had an infection that got worse and worse and I ended up with high fever, had to spend a few days in bed to recover so last week was a complete write-off. Which was really annoying as I identified it as a clear form of self-sabotage and unresolved fears but it has been a great wake up call to bring this to the surface, although I would have rather this come to my awareness in a less painful way, sometimes it’s what we need. I will probably do an episode on how unresolved emotions can show up as physical symptoms, but for now let’s go back to the topic of how to stop leaking our power.

The concept of leaking your power is very important because when we are not in our power, everything goes wrong. We are at the mercy of life, what other people do and think, external circumstances, when we are not in our power we are not in control, which means that we are basically just dealing with whatever life throws at us.

But when we are in our power, when we know that we have all the resources we need, when we believe in ourselves, when we love ourselves, it doesn’t matter what other people think about us, it doesn’t matter what’s going on around because you know that you have the power to change and the resources to deal with anything that might come your way.

So how do you know if you’re leaking your power? Here are some common signs:

You feel drained very often, especially in the presence of some people.

You don’t feel in control of your life, but more like you just have to suffer whatever life throws at you.

Life is not flowing for you the way you would like it to, but you seem to can’t change or take action to improve things.

You don’t feel like you’re living an authentic life that feels right for you, but instead it feels like you’re living someone else’s life, maybe what your family expected from you.

Negative self-talk, if you often get caught in negative thoughts, potential catastrophic scenarios that never happen, this is sign of leaking your power.

So in this episode, I want to share with you 5 common ways in which you might be leaking your power without even realising it and what to do instead.

1.Victim mode. When we take on the victim role we are discounting our power and our resources. Expecting someone else to change, someone else to help us, someone else to do something for us, whether that’s our partner, parents, the government it is a very dangerous trap that only leads to feeling disempowered. So watch out for comments like ‘poor me’, ‘things never work for me’, ‘there is nothing I can do’, because in that moment you are implying that you don’t have power to change whatever situation you’re facing, and you do!

What to do instead? I did a whole episode on the drama triangle and the main 3 roles we take on when we don’t know how to meet our needs in a healthy way – victim, rescuer and persecutor. You can revisit this episode, which by the way, did you know it’s the most popular one of the 20 episodes this podcast has!?!? But basically, ask yourself – how is this narrative serving me? There is always a benefit to it, even though it might sound crazy.

2.Blaming others for our problems. Pay special attention to the phrase ‘this person or situation MAKES ME feel’, because the moment you say this, you are giving your power away. You are implying that that person or situation has control over you. And yeah, things happen in life, and you have the right to have an emotional reaction, but ultimately, the way you manage this, and you snap out of it and move on and continue with your life is up to you.

Another classical example is when we think that ‘once my husband changes’, ‘if my mum were different’ ‘if only my boss treated me better’ you would be happy. And again, we can’t wait and we can’t expect other people to change, because we don’t have control over them. You can only change yourself.

So what to do instead? Take responsibility for your life. This is a decision that only you can make. Stop waiting for others to change, because most likely, they won’t. It’s like being in a car in the passenger seat and expecting the driver to take you on the right path, they might do, they might not. The only way you can make sure you’re going to get to your destination is to grab the steering wheel and be on the driver’s seat. And I know this can be scary and you might need to push through a lot of resistance – fears, old beliefs, old patterns, programming, but trust me, it is so liberating when it finally clicks that you have the power to create your life.

3.People pleasing. When you live your life trying to please your loved ones, trying to be perfect for everyone, trying to get validation from others and you make decisions to keep other people happy or because you know you will receive their approval, you are leaking your power. Because you are kind of implying that you need someone’s permission or validation to live your life and you absolutely don’t. You came here to live YOUR life, to live YOUR journey, if you are not true to yourself, you’re not being a better wife, daughter, friend, mother you are denying who you truly are, you are rejecting yourself and you are living our of alignment with your soul, which is one of the worst things you could possibly do to yourself!

So what to do instead? Ask yourself the question: if I knew that no one would criticise me, judge me or reject me, what would I be doing differently? Does this look like the life I want for myself or like the life others want for myself? If I had all the money in the world, what would I do? Spend some time reconnecting with your true desires and give yourself the permission and validation you deserve so you can start making decisions that are in your highest interest.

4.Not setting boundaries. Another way to leak our power is when we don’t say no to things that don’t serve us or when we don’t protect ourselves and we let other people drain our energy. This is really dangerous because we are not just not in our power, but we are basically opening ourselves to anyone who wants to feed from us. And every time you go to an event that you don’t fancy but you feel you have to go, you are using your energy for something that it is not in your highest interest. Every time you have a coffee with that person that just wants to complain and drains your energy, every time you answer that phone call, every time you yes to something that is not in your highest interest, you are saying no to yourself. As simple as that. I’m not saying you should be selfish and only think about yourself, obviously if a loved one needs you it’s beautiful to be there for them. But there needs to be a good balance between being there for people when it feels right and being there for everyone because you can’t say no.

So what to do instead? If this sounds like you, very likely there will be some belief about having to be there for everyone, maybe about being selfish if you say no or maybe at some point you learnt that your needs weren’t important. There is an episode about how to clear beliefs like this, it was one of the first ones where you have all the information you need.

5.Give energy to negative thoughts. I have saved this one for last, but it should have been one of the first ones actually! When we give our energy to negative thoughts, it uses up sooooo much energy. The amount of times I will have felt exhausted from doing nothing, just worrying! Have you noticed that sometimes you are not doing physical activity, you are not working but you feel absolutely drained? Well think of what type of thoughts you have been having those days, because very likely, you leaked your power and your energy in negative self-talk. The more you feed one negative thought, the more energy you waste. I did one episode on stopping negative thoughts that will give you a lot of info and ideas but today I want to share one key idea with you: Add meditation to your daily practice and learn how to bring your mind to the present moment, train your mind to be present and focused on what is serving you, not getting caught in the spiral of negative thoughts. And yeah, this is a skill that can be learnt, you can train your mind the same way your train your body in the gym.

 

Ok my loves, I hope you found that useful, that is all from me today!

A couple of announcements before I go, I’m now on Instagram, so give me a follow and let’s hang out there, @veronica_moreno_coaching.

I’m preparing a week of free live content that is going to be epic and will take place probably the first week of August, so keep your eyes open, I will be sharing more on IG and also subscribe to my newsletter if you want to be the first one to know about it.

And also for anyone looking for more support or deeper healing, I want to tell you about my 1:1 healing coaching programme ‘Step Into Your Power’ – 3 months of 1:1 sessions AND Voxer support, which is a new feature! It is a transformational journey to help you break free from the conditioning of the past, to rediscover your true self and master your self-confidence so you can create a life of joy and purpose that feels right for you. If you want to know more about it, please send me an email or book a free confidence booster session in the link below.

Just one more thing before I go, if you are enjoying this podcast please subscribe and share it with your loved ones!

Sending much love and light to you all,

Best,

Verónica

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Hi, I’m Verónica, a Confidence Coach, Energy Healer, Counsellor, Meditation Teacher & Founder of The Positive Mindset Tribe Podcast.

My mission is to help women on a spiritual journey to break free from the conditioning of their past, rediscover their true self, grow their confidence and reclaim their power so they can create a joyful life that feels authentic and is aligned with their Soul’s purpose.

I have a unique approach to healing and self-development which combines the results-orientated approach of Coaching, the therapeutic background of Humanistic Integrative Counselling and a toolbox of powerful Meditation and Energy Healing techniques (including Theta Healing, Pranic Healing and Shamanic Energy Medicine).

If you are feeling stuck and could do with a boost of clarity and confidence, I’m offering some free confidence booster sessions that would be perfect for you!